Myth No. 3 about International Adoption

3. Love is enough. Just treat adopted kids the same as you would biological kids and they’ll be fine. This is what I thought before I became an adoptive parent. And now people bristle when I say that raising adopted kids is different. Yet, it is. That’s not that they don’t have chores to do or aren’t disciplined for misbehavior. But as adoptive parents, I believe we need always be aware of our child’s actions, reactions, and feelings, knowing that each child deals with adoption in very different ways.

Now that I’m a parent, I’m actually thinking that really love isn’t enough for biological kids either. Parenting should be about developing a deep understanding of each individual child, their feelings, dreams, and desires. What teenager doesn’t long to be understood by their parents?

So many adoptive parents want to believe that adoption is a one-time event. The child comes home, the adoption is final, everything is good. And while it may seem that way in the parents’ lives, adoption may be an everyday event for the adoptee. Whether it’s because they look different or because school kids remind them their family is different or because they think about their Korea family, the fact that they’re adopted may never been too far from our kids’ minds.

They may have lots of questions about why they were adopted, why you as parents decided to adopt, and why they have to live a family that’s different.

And that’s why we as parents need to be open to talking with our kids about what their feelings. They need help processing the feelings they have and understanding what those feelings mean. Love alone isn’t enough.

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My Korean Culture Blog

Just a reminder that if you want to learn more about Korean culture (both traditional and pop culture), language resources, and cooking, check out my other blog: thekoreanway.wordpress.com It's filled with resources for adoptive families or anyone interested in Korean culture.

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Be Strong, Geum-Soon
Please Teach Me English
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2009 Lost Memories

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