Love, Culture, and Identity–What’s Really Needed?

After attending our Parents In Process class, my husband and I decided to delve into Korean culture with both feet. Everything we learned in class pointed to the importance of our son being acquainted with his birth culture. So we didn’t hesitate–we began eating Korean food and learning the language. After what we’d learned, we no longer believe that love was enough in parenting our son. He would need us to be more informed, educated, and understanding.

At the time, I had no idea that many would consider our take on adoption parenting “out there.” I couldn’t believe that so many people would still believe that love was enough, that race didn’t matter, that birth culture would be a matter of interest or it wouldn’t, and that speaking the birth language really didn’t matter so much. But truly, I’ve come across more parents who have a “que sera, sera” attitude (whatever will be, will be) than I have parents who are proactive about building cultural foundations for their kids.

And lately, there’ve been a couple of articles that on the surface seem to exempt parents from “doing culture.” (I wrote about one article in my July 2009 post, “What’s an Adoptive Parent to Do?”) One article was in Brain Child magazine; it was titled “What’s My Heritage?” It was written by an adoptive parent. A second one appeared on Boston.com. This one was titled, “Another Country, Not My Own: One overseas adoptee explains, Parents embrae of the ‘home’ culture can have its costs,” and was written by Mei-Ling Hopgood, who also authored the book Lucky Girl.

Some parents have used these articles to say, “See if you go too far with culture stuff it can be just as damaging as doing nothing. Damned if you do, damned if don’t. So why put in the effort.”

But if you really dig into these articles, they’re so saying so much more. They’re saying that culture needs to be more than a once a year culture camp, Korean food on selective Korean holidays, or learning traditional celebrations or dances. These articles are saying that it’s more important for internationally adopted kids to know people who share their ethnic heritage, to have mentors and role models who look like them, and to live in diverse areas.

These articles aren’t talking about doing less, but doing more. And the findings of a recently released study done by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute uphold the need of going further in adoption parenting. The study is titled, “Beyond Culture Camp: Promoting Healthy Identity Formation in Adoption.” The report is 113 pages long, but the institute’s web site has a summary of the report, so you can see the conclusions they came to without reading the whole report. (On the summary page, there is a link to the PDF of the entire report, if you’re interested.)

The conclusion of the report’s introduction says, “The findings of this study reflect the need to go ‘beyond culture camp’ to provide children with ongoing experiences and relationships that promote postivie racial (and adoptive) indentity development. Our respondents valued cultural celebrations and other opportunities to learn about their origins, but such singular events appear insufficient. … Further, there seems to no question about the need to provide transracially adopted children with opportunities to be in diverse settings and have diverse role models.”

This report talks about doing things that might take you, the adoptive parent, out of your comfort zones. Moving to a more diverse area, traveling to your child’s birth country (shown to be very important for international adoptees in learning about their origins), understanding what it’s like to be the only person of color in community.

The conclustion continues, “Commitment and love of adoptive parents, exposure to positive aspects of the child’s culture, and perhaps connection with other families who have adopted from the same country were thought to be enough to support the development of positive identity. As this study demonstrates, the integration of “being adopted,” of one’s racial/ethnic identity and one’s identity as a person adopted from another country is a complex and continually evolving process.” [emphasis added by me]

The findings of this study are nothing new to me. Over the last year and a half, the realities of the what this study concluded have been weighing on me. I’ve come to understand the need of living in a diverse area; of having close family friends who share our son’s ethnicity and who love him and are interested in mentoring him and helping him achieve a healthy identity; of doing more than the surface culture stuff.

And it’s hard. I admit it. I know the importance of it, but achieving those things is hard. It’s hard to make connections. But I know that me not doing what’s hard could make things infinitely harder on my son. So the hard way it is. With God’s help, I know we can achieve the life that will be best for our family.

Korean Language Primer

It seems like more and more adoptive families are wanting to learn the languages of their children’s birth culture, which we think is great. We started our Korean language learning three years while waiting for our son to come home. We were fortunate to find a willing teacher who sacrificed her Saturday mornings to get us started. We learned some essential phrases and a even impressed a couple of people in Korean with our use of those phrases.

Since coming home with our son three years ago, we’ve had a harder time continuing our education. This fall our son could have started Korean school but with the economy what it is, there just isn’t money for that at this time. So I’ve been looking for other ways to learn. In this post, I’m going to share some language links that can help you get started learning Korean.

Let’s Speak Korean on YouTube.com is an excellent resource. I’ve just recently found this one. Each episode is approximately 10 minutes long and goes over essential phrases in Korean. It’s easy to understand but they don’t Romanize (put into the English alphabet) the phrases, so it’s helpful to know your Korean alphabet.

The Korean alphabet can be practiced at this site put together by Indiana University. This site goes over how to pronounce basic vowels, complex vowels, and consonants, as well as gives words that have that sound. You’ll hear both a male speaker and a female speaker pronounce each sound and word.

Another site by Indiana Universitys is a Multimedia Korean Dictionary. Set up like the previous site listed, this one goes over words and phrases that are common, such as colors, animals, clothing, numbers, and more. Again you’ll hear each word or phrases pronounced twice, once by a male speaker and again by a female speaker.

Learn-Korean.net is another online resource. This one has several lessons, but I don’t believe any have audio. Most words and phrases, however, are romanized so learning to pronounce words might be easier. I would say this site is best used in conjunction with the sites already listed since they include audio of the pronounciation.

SurvivalPhrases.com is another great resource. While there is a subscription service on this site, there are several free lessons available online or through iTunes. Each lesson also has a downloadable PDF guide to help you through the lesson.

Korean Language Online is part of the Indiana University language center. I’ve just been introduced to this one so I haven’t had a chance to do much with it. It seems like most of it is listening. The audio files reference a book, but I haven’t found it on the site yet. I think it’s helpful to both see the words written in hangul and pronounced. Seeing the characters as you’re hearing them reenforces which character makes which sound. This site does have multiple levels of learning, which is cool. I’ll have to spend more time exploring this site, for sure.

If you search the Internet, you’ll find many more resources to help you learn Korean. The ones listed here are my current favorites. As previously promised, I still plan to post words and phrases that are useful for adoptive families with a new baby home from Korea. But hopefully these sites will help you get started learning Korean.

Be Prepared, Part 2–The Expanded Version

Last week I wrote about what to do while you’re waiting for your child to come home to you. But I felt that I should expound on some of those ideas, as well as add some that weren’t included in the first round.

Learn the Language. Of course, you probably aren’t going to become fluent in the language of your child’s birth culture while you’re waiting. But you can learn some important words and phrases that might help with the transition. A few such phrases might be:
Yes
No
Hello
Goodbye
I love you
I don’t understand
Don’t be afraid
It’s OK
I plan to do a post in the future with some of these words and phrases in Korean that you can use.

And learn some songs in that language to sing as lullabies once your child is home. If your child was born in Korea, you can check out the links I’ve previously posted to songs on YouTube. There are also several shopping sites that have CDs with Korean children’s songs or lullabies. I’m sure you can find the same type of CDs in other languages too. We bought a children’s song CD in Korea and used it every day at nap time. Our son loved hearing the language that was familiar to him.

Find out about foods your child is eating. In Korea most babies eat jook, which is a rice porridge. Eating similar foods may be comforting to your child, so why not learn to make a few things now. Here is a recipe for jook, although I’m sure you can find many variations. Babies also drink barley tea in Korea. Our son’s formula was even mixed with barley tea. You can find it at your local Korean market, or if there isn’t one in your area, Komart online has it too.

Make a list of questions, if you’re meeting the foster family. This can be invaluable to you as you learn to parent to your child. What is your child’s daily schedule like? What is his temperament? Ask about the day before and the day of pick up. What did the foster family do with and for your child? Did they have a party? Or pack bags of clothes and items that will go home with the child? If you’re child has a sudden outburst once you’re home, knowing these things can help you understand what’s triggering it. (Maybe the child associates parties with getting a new family.) What about favorite TV shows? Many of the Korean children’s shows are available on DVD and VHS. If you know which ones she likes, you can purchase some either there or once you’re home (several shopping sites have them). Does your child have a favorite toy or blanket? If so, ask if the child can take it with them.

Line up help, but not for the baby. For bonding, it’s best if the parents do 100 percent of the baby care. Feeding, soothing, diapering, and bathing should all be things that only the parents do. But that doesn’t mean that others can’t help you. Ask your family and friends to provide meals for you. It might be best to have the meals brought before you travel and have them in the freezer. You’ll all be tired and jet lagged once you get home, especially during the first week or so, and may not be eating on your normal schedule for the first several days. Family and friends can also help with cleaning or laundry or grocery shopping. If you have older kids, family and friends can help by taking the older kids out for special activities or making sure they get where they need to go (school, activities, etc.).

Having a new baby home is exhausting; having a newly adopted baby is no less exhausting. Our friends didn’t seem to understand that we essentially had a 20-pound newborn when we arrived home from Korea. He was 9 months old so they assumed he would be sleeping through the night (still not at almost 4). “You’re past all that newborn stuff,” they said.

Nothing could have been further from the truth. We had a baby whose whole world had been turned upside down. He had no idea what was happening and was starting over, just as if he were a newborn. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be. I tell parents to expect and be educated for the worst. More than likely, it won’t be that bad but at least if it is, you’re armed and ready to do what you have to do.

Something to Celebrate?

November is National Adoption Month. For some it’s a month to celebrate. I wish it were more a month of adoption awareness. My feelings on adoption are very conflicted at times. I love my son dearly, and without adoption he wouldn’t be part of my life. Yet, now I know so much about adoption that it’s hard to be “in love” with the idea like I used to be.

And really I think the views of society on adoption are just as conflicted. For the most part, America seems accepting of adoption but not yet wholly accepting. If adoption were wholly accepted as a way to build a family, adoptees wouldn’t be asked about their “real” parents and adoptive parents wouldn’t be seen as “saints.” It would just be a way to build a family–not so different from the old-fashioned way or using fertility treatments to assist.

If adoption were wholly accepted, families built by adoption wouldn’t be seen as different. The children wouldn’t be seen as “unwanted” and the parents as “less of a mother or father” because the child isn’t biologically theirs. There wouldn’t be questions like, “Can’t you have children of your own?” or “Why didn’t you get an American baby?” People wouldn’t look at mothers and fathers who adopt with pity and sadness because they can’t have “their own” kids.

If adoption were wholly accepted, birth mothers who decide to make adoption plans wouldn’t be looked down on for placing their children. Phrases like, “How could anyone give up such a cute baby?” would never be uttered. Instead people would understand that placement is not an easy decision, and know that birth mothers are only trying to do what is best.

If adoption were wholly accepted, people would understand the loss that comes with adoption. They wouldn’t pass off babies as “resilient” and trivialize the trauma that comes with the early losses that our kids have experienced.

If adoption were wholly accepted in America, there would be a better understanding of corruption and unethical practices that still occur from time to time in adoptions. There would be a better understanding of the circumstances abroad that lead some birth mothers to feel they have no choice but to place their children for adoption. And with that knowledge, churches, organizations, and ministries would be working with those countries to help promote change. (I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. I don’t think white Americans should charge into other countries and tell them what do or not do. But I do feel that instead of advocating for people to adopt, these groups should be finding programs that already exist in these countries and supporting them as a way of taking care of the orphans.) This article, written by Jane Jeong Trenka, perfectly expresses the anguish and helplessness some birth mothers feel.

Adoption has been around for centuries. And I truly believe that no matter what we do, there will always be children who are placed for adoption. That fact is some women who become pregnant aren’t ready to become  mothers. But I wish we could come to a place where every adoption plan that’s made is because the birth mother believes it’s the best interest of the child. Not because she’s too poor to feed her child or because her society doesn’t support single mothers. Not because she feels she had no other recourse.

That’s what I wish National Adoption Month was about. Not simply celebrating it as a good thing to do, but talking openly about the sensitive issues of adoption, making people more aware of everything that adoption entails. Maybe then we could get to a place of true understanding and sensitivity about adoption.

It’s a Hard Knock Life

I love musicals. I don’t remember when I saw my first musical on stage, but I’m sure that long before that I loved movie musicals. My husband joined in to musical obsession after seeing Wicked on Broadway a few years ago. And now we have a son who loves music and dancing, and as we learned earlier this year, musicals. We took him to see High School Musical 3 and he loved it so much that we had to see it five times in the theater before it came out on video.

So, of course, I want to indulge this love of musicals. But I’m struggling with how to do that. Themes that never bothered me before now make me cringe.

I think he’d most like musicals about kids. But just about every kid musical has an orphan theme, some better done than others. Oliver was never a favorite of mine, but I loved Annie. Now I’m wondering, it is appropriate for my son to see? Sure, right now he probably won’t “get” lots of the message. But someday he will; what will it mean to him then?

And then there’s the racial themes and stereotypes. First, there aren’t many musicals that have minorities in them. Second, when minorities are represented it’s often only to fulfill a stereotype.

I have two friends who have highly recommend Miss Saigon; both said it was one of their favorite musicals. I haven’t seen it so one friend let me borrow her soundtrack. It was in the first song on the soundtrack that I became uncomfortable, and as the soundtrack played on that feeling only grew. Asian women existing only for pleasing men; Asian men cunningly only helping other if it advanced their cause.

So I did what I always do and began doing some research on the Internet. I came across a review of the Broadway version written when the musical was still playing on the Great White Way (it was posted in 2008). It points out all the stereotypes that are perputuated in the story line of Miss Saigon. And as so often happens, the first comment was from a dissenter who wondered if it would be a misrepresentation to portray the story with “political correctness” since it was set in the 1970s, which we all know wasn’t politically correct. The response was that it would have been misrepresentation only if you believe that there were no Asians in the 1970s who had any redeeming qualities and that there were no whites who could see past the bigotry.

And that’s my dilemma. So much of what’s out there in entertainment, especially in years past but to some extent still today, shows a skewed view of the world when it comes to race and adoption. It’s true that America’s past is traditionally very “white” but since the beginning we’ve had people of color here. People who have contributed much to our country, and people we largely never hear about. Yes, stereotypes exist, whether it be about race or adoptees or genders. Yes, some people believe those stereotypes are true and use them to form opinions. And yes, someday my son will need to know all of these things. And maybe, when he’s old enough to understand, movies and musicals will be great jumping-off points to start conversations about these themes.

But in the meantime, at the tender age of 3, would seeing these messages be detrimental? Would it affect his developing sense of self in a negative way? These are the questions I ask myself before viewing any movie or show. They are questions that many of my white friends with biological kids never ask about these “family-friendly” movies. These films have no bad language, no sex, and no violence–nothing in there that could harm a youngster, right?

For me it’s not that simple. I must look deeper and with a more critical eye than I did before. Not to completely shelter my son from reality, but to make sure the messages he’s getting are helping build him up as a minority in this country during these formative years.

Be Prepared–What to Do While You Wait

No matter how long your adoption process is, it’s a long wait. Ours was only six months, but it was without a doubt the longest six months of my life. Everyone has a different way to pass the time. Some enjoy their time as a family of X (whatever size family they are now), knowing it will never the same again; others try not to think about or count the days of waiting; still others use the time to prepare and educate.

I was the educate and prepare type, with a little of the enjoy our last moments as just a couple (at least until J goes to college). And I really do think it’s the best way to pass the time. I’ve said it before, but will say it again–parenting an adopted child IS NOT the same as parenting a biological child. That means, even if you’ve already had children, you need to educate yourself about parenting an adopted child. And more than likely, you’ll need to continue educating yourself over the years of bring up this child who came into your lives through adoption.

So reading is one great way to educate yourself  and pass the time while you’re waiting. Learn about attachment and try to understand the losses of adoption. I read many adoption and attachment books while we were waiting. My favorite then was Becoming a Family by Lark Eschleman. But now my favorite adoption book, the one I consider a must read, is Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child by Patty Cogen. This one will teach you about grieving, regression, attachment, and how children deal with trauma; give ideas to help your child; and will take you through your child’s teen years in understanding how adoption may continue to affect their lives.

Here are a couple of more titles to add to your reading list, if you’re so inclined. I’ve only recently discovered Patricia Irwin Johnston. She has several books that she’s written over the years. A couple of them have been combined recently into a new title, Adopting: Sound Choices, Strong Families. It’s very comprehensive in helping you prepare to bring home a child. (She’s also written Adoption is a Family Affair: What Relatives and Friends Must Know. I haven’t read this one yet but I’m intrigued by the title.) Some other titles are listed on the page linked at the top of this blog.

Learn about your child’s birth culture. This is a great, interesting way to pass the time because if you’re like us, you don’t know much about a different culture. We’ve truly fallen in love with Korea and now would love to live there. Take language lessons. At the very least, learn some key phrases and/or songs. Check out YouTube. There you’ll may find clips that will help you learn, especially songs. If you’re adopting from Korea, check out one of my previous posts. It links to several Korean songs on YouTube. Search your local library for a program like the Rosetta Stone or see if there are language lessons given in your area.

Make connections with local community that represents your child’s birth culture. Culture is so much more than just traditional festivals and food. Probably the most important thing you can do for your child is have people in your life who look like your child will look. These are the friends and mentors who will help your child navigate being an ethnic minority in America. I must admit that this is one area where we’re really lacking. It’s hard to make connections. If you’re religious, finding a diverse church can help. See if your community has a culture center where you can make connections.

And, of course, you’ll be doing all of the normal new baby preparations, like buying diapers and preparing the nursery. Ask any family who has waited for an adopted and they’ll tell you that no matter what you do to pass the time, it will still seem to go slowly. But if you do the things on this list, you’ll be so much better prepared to parent your child once he’s home–once the time for reading and learning is curtailed for a time. And you’ll be so glad you did.

What’s for Dinner?

Tonight we’re chanting, “Hurry, mama, hurry, got to chop, chop, chop; hungry, hungry, hungry for some bi bim bap.” (That’s from Linda Sue Park’s adorable picture book Bi Bim Bap, for those who don’t recognize it.)

In the last few months, I’ve gotten much more willing to try new Korean recipes. Basically that happened because I was craving bi bim bap and couldn’t afford to out to dinner that night. So I searched the Internet and found a recipe that tastes almost identical to the bi bim bap at my favorite Korean restaurant.

For a girl who wasn’t a very adventureous eater growing up, it’s impressive. I didn’t even eat Chinese food until I was in college. Once I tried making bi bim bap and it was really good, I became more confident and willing to try other recipes. Next up, I want to try kimbap.

Food is a great way to incorporate birth culture. While it may not be exactly the same, if you use authentic recipes from cooks from the birth country, you’ll probably be pretty close. We’re thankful that our son loves Korean food–it will make traveling to Korea someday easier, at least in respect to eating.

I’ve checked out all of the Korean cookbooks our library has, and have developed a couple of favorites. But honestly, I get most of my recipes from the Internet. It’s so simple to do a search for a certain food, and find numerous recipes to choose from. If you’re looking for Korean recipes, I’ve included links to my favorite sites.

In the meantime, we’ll be mixing like crazy and enjoying bi bim bap and mandu. 잘먹겠습니다! (Jal-meok-kket-sseum-ni-da, which is bon appetit in Korean and said before you eat. If you’d like many options for saying the food was good in Korean, check this out.)

Maangchi is a great site. She provides videos of her making the recipes and photos of ingredients so you know what you’re looking for at the Korean market.

Aeri’s Kitchen (Aeri is in South Korea. I’ve just found her site recently so I haven’t used any of her recipes yet, but they look yummy.)

My Korean Kitchen is an older blog. No new recipes have been added since 2007, but there is still a wealth of information on this one.

Eat Your Bap (this one is fairly new so it only has a few recipes)

Korean Cuisine is a blog written by a Korean-American woman who loves to cook.

MiGi’s Kitchen: A Delicious Guide to Korean Homecooking is a site done by a Korean-American couple in California. This is a new find and I can’t wait to try her recipes.

First Families

First families. It can be a polarizing topic within the adoption community. Just in my little world I know family with an open international adoption and another family that is completely uncomfortable with the thought of first parents. As the experts will tell you, whether or not you as adoptive parents want to acknowledge the existence of first parents, they are still very present in the minds of most adoptees.

I’ve always thought of us as partners with our son’s first parents. They did what they could, and we picked up when they couldn’t do anymore. We’ve never felt threatened by our son’s first family. We’ve talked to him about them since he came home. At first it was a little awkward–you the mom talking about another mom–but now it’s easy and comfortable to mention them.

And J’s now talking about them pretty often, which is nice to see. We want him to be able to talk with us about his feelings and be open about his thoughts, knowing he isn’t hurting us by thinking about them.

I wish we’d known that open international adoptions were possible. We would have pursued it from the beginning. But we didn’t know. Our son’s family history is complex, so while we were in Korea we began adovating for more than is normally allowed, yet I wish we’d done more.

For the last year, I’ve been writing letters to agencies and the family (through the agencies) in hopes of establishing open communication. So far I haven’t had any luck. It’s frustrating not knowing if my letters are even arriving in Korea, and if they are, is the agency editing things out? Does the family understand that we want to communicate with them, to share our son’s life with them, and to share their lives with him? We have some information from the agency indicating that the family is interested in communicating. Yet, so far the communication has been one sided.

I hate that something I feel is so important for my son is completely at the mercy of others. Others who I have no way of communicating with face to face (our U.S. agency is in another state).

I know that my pursuing this in itself is a somewhat controversial. Some adult adoptees believe the search should be left for the adoptee to do. I defend our decision with the argument that very few people know our whole story, and those who do understand why we feel making the connections now is so important.

Interestingly, as I work on this for our family, I came across a blog recently that encouraged adoptive parents to search for first families for their children. Harlow’s Monkey quoted another blogger in this post answering a question posted by a prospective adoptive parent. (The links on Harlow’s Monkey’s blog can lead you through the blog trail of this one.) For international adoption, Atlasien said one thing adoptive parents can do is “work to establish contact with your child’s biological family.”

Some readers questioned this stance in the comments section for this post on Harlow’s Monkey. So in the comments section Atlasien went on to explain, “searching in international adoption is so hard, if you wait, you are just increasing that chances that people will move away, get sick and die, lose paperwork, and so on. By waiting, you are passively removing choice from your child. But you are not removing a choice if you search for your child when they are younger… the adoptee always has the choice, when they become an adult, to STOP contact. And stopping contact is a lot easier than starting it.” If you read all of the comments you’ll see that Jae Ran of Harlow’s Monkey agreed, noting of course that many adoptees feel the search should be theirs.

I’ve read so many stories from adult adoptees about missing the opportunities to make those connections by a year or a few months because the person holding the information had died or moved. That’s why we feel it’s important for us to start the process. I wish more agencies understood the importance and made it easier to connect birth families and adoptive families who are open to communication.

5 Wonderful Things Adoption Has Brought Into My Life

Things have been heavy around this blog lately. And while I’m still aware of the loss and issues adoption brings, it has brought some wonderful things into my life as well.

1. The sweetest smile of the most charming boy I’ve ever met. I feel so honored to be this little guy’s mom. I hate all of the loss that he has had to endure to bring him here, but he is a wonderful addition to our family. My hope is that we can do our best to help him develop into the man he was meant to be.

2. Connection to another culture. Americans, by and large, are very insulated. Now I have a link to another culture. For me it’s fun to learn about the history of another country, challenging to work on learning a language that’s completely different, and intriguing to learn about the customs and practices that vary so greatly from the ones I’ve known growing up.

3. New friends. Both far and near I’ve met some amazing women (and men, too) who have become my supporters and encouragers, as I have theirs (I hope). After a couple of years struggling to find other adoptive parents who share my views, I’ve now found my niche.

4. More awareness of racial issues. Now that my eyes are open to the racial issues in our country, I honestly don’t know how I missed it before. It’s not an easy knowledge to have when so many deny the existence of racial problems, but I know I’m a better person now that I have this intellectual understanding of something I’ve never experienced.

5. More compassion and a better understanding of who I am. Maybe it’s just approaching 40 or maybe it’s becoming a mom or maybe it’s a combination of the two. But in the three years since our son came home, I’ve gotten to know myself better–the good, the bad and the ugly. Introspection is a difficult road, but I believe it’s necessary for me to become the mom I’m supposed to be.

October 3, 2009–Two Korean Holidays in One

Since Chuseok is a Korean holiday that is determined by the lunar calendar, the date changes every year. This year it falls on Saturday, Oct. 3 (although in Korea the holiday runs Oct. 2-4 to allow for travel). Another Korean holiday falls every year on Oct. 3–National Foundation Day, which the foundation of Korea is celebrated.

Here you’ll find the post I did last year with some tips about how celebrate Chuseok. That post includes several links that can assist you in your celebration.

I also blogged about Foundation Day last year. Here’s a link to that post.

So this year, you can celebrate two Korean holidays at once. Sorry I didn’t come up with new ideas this year, but life just hasn’t allowed me to spend the time on this blog that I’d hoped to. Hopefully in the next year I’ll be able to add some fresh ideas for your Chuseok celebration.

In the meantime, it’s a great opportunity to try out some Korean dishes (san jok and ho bak jon are so easy), read some books, and open the discussion about Korea with your kids.